I moved to NYC
#4: ny vs sf, montessori parenting
First Impressions of New York City
I moved to New York City (just like everybody else).
In my case, @choosy_mom called us and said 'We need someone to take the third room of a 3-bedroom sublet. Do you two want it and if so, can you sign for it tomorrow morning?'
So here I am.
In my first few weeks, here's what stood out:
The people are friendlier. Strangers talk to me everywhere I go: in the subway, at the gym, in the elevator. In SF, people have more boundaries, or they’re respectful of the boundaries they imagine you have. Corollary: In NYC, you don’t end up feeling like you’re distracting someone from their phone (as you sometimes do in SF).
The food is an order of magnitude better than SF. In SF, I rarely ate out because I was disappointed by the food, especially given the cost. But NYC still has delicious, affordable food everywhere. There's a place a short walk from my loft that serves two breakfast tacos for $6.
You get way less space in New York City than San Francisco. I live in a loft that’s "spacious" by New York City standards, but tiny compared to my group house in SF. In SF, we had the only bedroom on our floor so once everyone went to bed it felt like we were in our own apartment — and that floor alone is bigger than my current NYC 3-bedroom apartment. For the same cost.
New York City truly is “the city that never sleeps”. On my second day here, I worked late, and then planned to meet up with a friend at 11 pm on a Wednesday. In San Francisco, people are less amenable to meeting up impromptu, late, on a weekday.
Most hangout spots close early, and your transit options are scant. If you take BART you’ll wait 20 minutes for your train, and be the only mentally stable person in your train car. Or you can take two pricy Ubers, one there and one back.
In New York City, everything stays open late, the subway keeps running, and there are lots of people out at all hours. Hanging out late is safe and enjoyable.
Montessori Parenting
Andrew and I are starting to think about kids, so we've been bingeing Montessori youtube videos.
Raising your kids "Montessori"-style means teaching them to be high-agency from a young age. Montessori youtubers have all sorts of tactics for this.
For example, everything in a toddler's room should be sized for the toddler. Mirrors and hooks are hung low on the wall. Furniture is small so that the toddler can access their stuff themselves. (Just make sure all furniture is fixed to the wall, so that the toddler doesn't accidentally crush themselves).
A toddler should sleep on a floor bed. This allows them to get in and out of bed on their own. In hindsight, putting your child in a crib seems strange to me; You're basically putting them in a child-size jail that they can't leave without you letting them out. If they wake in the middle of the night, the only way they can get out of jail is to cry until you hear them. If your child sleeps on a floor mattress, and they wake up in the middle of the night, they can just get out of bed and play with their toys.
Anyhow, the Montessori At Home series does a far better job of explaining these concepts than I can. Here's a good starter video:
Miscellaneous Links:
Karl wrote a guide on how to advocate for a hospitalized loved one. I wish I’d read this when my dad was in the hospital!
For another perspective on NYC vs. SF, check out these cartoons.
Until next time,
Priya