Perks of Living Near Your Friends

Thirty-two of my friends live within walking distance of me.

May 11, 2023

Hi, I'm Priya, and I live in New York City. Thirty-two of my friends live within walking distance of my husband and I. Many of us live in the same building. You can read about how we did it here.

I thought living near friends would be awesome, but it's even better than I expected.

Here are some unexpected perks of living near your friends.

Perk #1: Help with chores

When you’re sick, someone offers to get you medicine from the bodega. When B is out of town, someone else takes care of his cat. When L wants to loft his bed, J lends him power tools and teaches him how to use them. It's a multi-day project; several people offer to help with the manual labor. When I need to stock up on Trader Joe’s, my friend says he also needs groceries and will keep me company.

A new friend is moving in soon. To ease the moving process, we stockpile used furniture in another unit. Then, on the day the lease starts, a big group moves the furniture down the hall together.

Perk #2: Spontaneous hangouts

Here's how I spent my Saturday:

In the morning, I threw a trash party, which is a party where you clean up trash in your neighborhood. After the party, a bunch of friends went out for pizza. After pizza, a few of us took the subway to Domino Park, had ice cream, and walked along the water. When I got back, a friend who lives in the same building texted me to ask if I wanted to watch Indian Matchmaking.

Like college, there’s not much need to plan ahead. I can leave my weekend days unplanned, and see where the day takes me.

Weekdays feel spontaneous in a different way. Sometimes I co-work with friends, get coffee together, or taking mid-afternoon walks. In the evenings, there’s often an event within walking distance that I can attend if I want to.

Perk #3: Gadgets and Gizmos

Between us, we have every household item you can imagine. Need to borrow a tent? We've got you covered. A weird hat for a party? We have many. Nice clothes for a date? Yes.

Folding table? A backpack? A copy of the book “A Mind Illuminated”? A euro outlet converter when your flight is in a few hours? A Frisbee? Speaker stands? A giant whiteboard?

These are all real examples of items people borrowed from one another recently.

Perk #4: Your problems get solved

With so many friends around, your problems are often solved as soon as you articulate them. This is especially true for material goods (perk #3) and social needs (perk #2), but it goes beyond that.

Here are some problems that were solved spontaneously recently:

E didn't want to take time out of his work day to go to the library to print his Amazon return slip. I told him I had a printer and he could use it anytime.
P was thinking about becoming a coach and taking on coaching clients. Her friend mentioned that he knew an excellent program that trains you to be a coach. Another friend overheard and said he had just enrolled in the very same program. Now both P and that friend are in the program, and study together.
U wanted to learn to skateboard. Another friend went to the skate shop with him to help him buy a board. Now they practice skateboarding together every afternoon.

I chose these stories at random, from a grab bag of similar anecdotes. Similar stories happen many times throughout the day. It's easy for us to help each other out when we live so close to each other. I doubt E would borrow my printer if I lived 20 minutes away on the subway. Or that U and his friend would skateboard together every single day if they had to commute. Or that P and her friend would study together as regularly.

Perk #5: You'll become a host

Something I didn't expect when we started this is that most of our friends who move nearby become hosts. In April, 54% of our friends hosted at least one event. And several people who didn't host in April had hosted in previous months.

Many friends had never hosted an event or had hosted very few events before moving here.

Living in a neighborhood lowers the barriers to hosting events. Need extra chairs for a big Shabbat dinner? Borrow them from down the hall. Worried no one will show up? If you live near friends, rest assured that at least a few people will. It's also easy to find a willing co-host when you live among so many friends. That way, you can share the work of hosting and double the guest list.

As someone who lives here, the end result is a sense of social abundance. On any given day, there’s probably an event going on nearby that I can attend.

Living near friends has enhanced almost every aspect of my life. Chores are easy. My social life is full. I have access to a bunch of useful household items. My friends help me solve my problems. I host often and without stress. If you want to live near your friends, it's worth the planning and effort. (Read how here).

Yours in neighborliness,

Priya