"If a friend expresses interest in the unit, I schedule a tour myself. Then tell them "I'm seeing the unit tomorrow at 3 pm if you want to join." (Yes, I know that might seem crazy. But also remember: I live near 22 friends, and my life is awesome)."
... I really like this example of how this sort of thing doesn't happen on its own. It takes worth and it is very much worth it.
IMHO a more accurate title would be "how to live within walking distance of your friends if you already live near them".
I clicked on a post titled "How to live near your friends" because I do *not* live near my friends. If my friends moved here, they would have to switch to working/studying remotely (at least half of them would be 6+ time zones out of phase from their jobs/schools). Also AFAIK many countries don't let people immigrate just because they want to live with their friends.
I agree, but I think that's why she also adds that additional point of creating community where you are. Not all the tips are going to work and that's okay!
I loved this! One time, many of my friends lived in Noe Valley in SF and it was the absolute best. The intentionality here seems so key - need to find a place for myself and replicate!
That's awesome. I lived in Noe once too, but I moved there right at the start of the pandemic, so it wasn't an especially communal time. Great neighborhood though!
I had the same issue moving to Austin at the end of 2019. But also made me appreciate community more! I shared your article with my sister and now we’re doing some plotting. Greta read!
I live in Noe! My best friend used to live here too, but she moved away in 2020. It's been hard finding new friends that live in Noe. Everyone keeps leaving SF. :(
We messed up! Needed this guide then 😂 SF is hard though, I had so many friends move in and out over the five years I lived there. Hard to put down roots.
This is delightful, thank you for sharing! The flyers for a whatsapp group are a great idea, I'm moving to a new city soon and will definitely try that in my building!
I lived near all my friends in San Diego and can confirm it was truly life changing. Now I’ve moved temporarily to Italy for a few years and I’m already stressed about getting back to the hood! Need to tell my friends to search for housing for me. 🥰
This is amazing. I love this idea so much. Have you had success with friends who live in another state joining your neighborhood? Do you have any tips on how to do this for those who live just outside a larger city?
"Have you had success with friends who live in another state joining your neighborhood?"
One of our friends moved from LA, but he was already intending to move to NYC. He originally only planned to stay with us when he first arrived, while he was looking for a permanent spot (he thought he wanted to live in Manhattan). But he really liked being here, so he moved into a nearby unit.
"Do you have any tips on how to do this for those who live just outside a larger city?"
I suspect the strategy is similar. If possible, choose a walkable area that frequently has units available for rent. Bonus points if there's a cute cafe within walking distance, or a park.
This is so impressive, Priya! Congratulations. What a skillset to foster! I always feel a roadblock with my shyness / social anxiety, but I work on it. Hopefully I can make a breakthrough with it someday. I love the idea of recurring dinner parties. I especially like the idea of leaving out flyers for a local Whats App group. Genius! I always wonder who my neighbors are but I'm too freaking shy to ask directly! Thanks for all the pointers, this is such valuable information.
impressive. The key here was that you actually offered something of value beyond entertainment to your friends. I suspect the South Asian heritage helped quite a bit here. I wrote recently about the decline in adult friendship among Americans more broadly (most of whom are not your age). Not offering one’s time to help out is one major reason friendships wither when you can just hire service professionals.
"If a friend expresses interest in the unit, I schedule a tour myself. Then tell them "I'm seeing the unit tomorrow at 3 pm if you want to join." (Yes, I know that might seem crazy. But also remember: I live near 22 friends, and my life is awesome)."
... I really like this example of how this sort of thing doesn't happen on its own. It takes worth and it is very much worth it.
Great post Priya!
Hell yeah, love to see this!! This needs to catch on, everywhere, yesterday
Let 1000 friend clusters bloom
inshallah we shall make it so
IMHO a more accurate title would be "how to live within walking distance of your friends if you already live near them".
I clicked on a post titled "How to live near your friends" because I do *not* live near my friends. If my friends moved here, they would have to switch to working/studying remotely (at least half of them would be 6+ time zones out of phase from their jobs/schools). Also AFAIK many countries don't let people immigrate just because they want to live with their friends.
I agree, but I think that's why she also adds that additional point of creating community where you are. Not all the tips are going to work and that's okay!
I loved this! One time, many of my friends lived in Noe Valley in SF and it was the absolute best. The intentionality here seems so key - need to find a place for myself and replicate!
That's awesome. I lived in Noe once too, but I moved there right at the start of the pandemic, so it wasn't an especially communal time. Great neighborhood though!
I had the same issue moving to Austin at the end of 2019. But also made me appreciate community more! I shared your article with my sister and now we’re doing some plotting. Greta read!
I live in Noe! My best friend used to live here too, but she moved away in 2020. It's been hard finding new friends that live in Noe. Everyone keeps leaving SF. :(
We messed up! Needed this guide then 😂 SF is hard though, I had so many friends move in and out over the five years I lived there. Hard to put down roots.
Depending on bussing and other issues, local public schools and libraries provide pretty instant community as well. Having friends nearby is the best.
This is gods work
Flywheel effect works on friendships too — amazing!
This is delightful, thank you for sharing! The flyers for a whatsapp group are a great idea, I'm moving to a new city soon and will definitely try that in my building!
I lived near all my friends in San Diego and can confirm it was truly life changing. Now I’ve moved temporarily to Italy for a few years and I’m already stressed about getting back to the hood! Need to tell my friends to search for housing for me. 🥰
This is amazing. I love this idea so much. Have you had success with friends who live in another state joining your neighborhood? Do you have any tips on how to do this for those who live just outside a larger city?
"Have you had success with friends who live in another state joining your neighborhood?"
One of our friends moved from LA, but he was already intending to move to NYC. He originally only planned to stay with us when he first arrived, while he was looking for a permanent spot (he thought he wanted to live in Manhattan). But he really liked being here, so he moved into a nearby unit.
"Do you have any tips on how to do this for those who live just outside a larger city?"
I suspect the strategy is similar. If possible, choose a walkable area that frequently has units available for rent. Bonus points if there's a cute cafe within walking distance, or a park.
Host regularly.
If you can afford it, get an extra bedroom and let friends stay with you short-term. Another option is to ask your friends to pet-sit or house-sit when you're out of town, and hope they fall in love with the area: https://twitter.com/GyanYankovich/status/1622414714939801601?s=20&t=CctMgIBzr7vAVjvo8cfsKA
Set up Zillow and Craiglist alerts. Etc.
QUEEN!
Thank you for all you do & are.
It was a joy to stay with you, Andrew & the crew in NY.
I can't wait to see you again soon!
❤️
This is so impressive, Priya! Congratulations. What a skillset to foster! I always feel a roadblock with my shyness / social anxiety, but I work on it. Hopefully I can make a breakthrough with it someday. I love the idea of recurring dinner parties. I especially like the idea of leaving out flyers for a local Whats App group. Genius! I always wonder who my neighbors are but I'm too freaking shy to ask directly! Thanks for all the pointers, this is such valuable information.
impressive. The key here was that you actually offered something of value beyond entertainment to your friends. I suspect the South Asian heritage helped quite a bit here. I wrote recently about the decline in adult friendship among Americans more broadly (most of whom are not your age). Not offering one’s time to help out is one major reason friendships wither when you can just hire service professionals.
i loved reading this! i’m moving to brooklyn soon and really looking forward to living near friends
Having 22 friends is crazy work
Love this. Unfortunately most will have babies and move to westchester.